Those who think relationships are the answers to their loneliness must beware. The location where the two most complicated attitudes and lifestyles meet can never be a playing ground. Going for a date is funny, and preparing for is a gamble because you never know the outcome. Human beings are not pets, so their association cannot define comforts. Don’t be deceived by its outlook; the material things it poses and the social media inceptions. Picking a phone to check up on someone nowadays is more difficult than requesting sex. Yes! Just for you to understand that things aren’t the same anymore. So once again, we must be careful. People are too busy to be having time for you. And they are too busy for themselves without knowing what really keeps them busy. The uncertainties of our lifestyle today are worrying. People aren’t serious about human relations anymore. They don’t even know the realities of it. All they can explain is the fun and happiness of it.

The reality is, everyone is fighting within; battles of depressions, dilemmas of finances, and the turmoil of social chaos. These are overriding factors in the relationship lives of today’s young people. All the other grounds, including relationship, is a refuge. So, before you rush for a date, ask yourself whether you are going to seek refuge or you going to provide for a refugee camp. Analyze your current position, whether you stand at the luxurious side or the virtuous side of it. Luxurious side as in the materialistic kinds of stuff; financial support, and other utilities. Virtuous side as in caring, companionship, and comforting. But we aren’t the luckiest generation because whether luxurious or virtuous, you’ll need money to prove it. That is not to say, you should get money before preparing for a date. That is to say, be ready for the realities in today’s versions of dating.

How do we know whether we are ready for a date or not? At what point do we conclude that indeed, I’m ready for someone? Do we prepare for possible challenges with strong mentality and a well-examined life? How do we point to that possible partner? Is it through instinct? Looks? Shape? Stature? Beauty? Smile? Or what we childishly call vibes? What are your acceptable and unacceptable behaviors? Do you know what you need? What are your flaws, weaknesses, and downs? Which attitude of the opposite sex really fits into your likeness? Do you know yourself? For how long can you tolerate displeasures? What really defines your perceptions, inwardness, and instincts? Is your introvert or extrovert clearly enough to be seen? And how honest are you to yourself?

Dating is not a philosophical concert neither is it a psychological drama. And so, I am not posing an intellectual feast.

Nevertheless, it must be appropriate to be a restraint on dignity and respect with a moderate attitude which helps to preserve all the spoils of it. The relationships nowadays are full of lustful sensations and luxurious substances. Don’t be over-reliant on the virtuous outcomes. Because you’re never going to get. But rather set yourself on all the available standards in order not to ruin your life. In dating, people love to exploit than to make good use of you. Ladies prefer your materialistic commitment to your emotional services. Sometimes it isn’t their fault because there no room for emotional health. They have traded all their dignities and respect; the social outburst has imposed a certain sense of urgency on their lives. And now beauty and outlooks are their last resort. They have realized that submissiveness and respectful characters aren’t in demand anymore. Because few men seek such qualities from the first hand. And those who get do not handle it well. So then, what is left? Lust, romance, sex, erotic, and mere affections.

For that matter, ladies of today spend time more on their outward beauty than their inward elegance. She doesn’t care whether she knows how to cook or not, or can suggest to you better ideas that could boost your business career. All she cares about is the proper flaunting of butts and breasts. For she knows, that in the market of men, that is what in demand. So, before you seek a virtuous lady or what you’ll call a woman of substance; you must first prepare to womanize or you end up losing appetite for love. The womanizing here doesn’t mean you should be sleeping around. You can unconsciously be doing that though (by dating lots of ladies, sleeping with them, and breaking up because their attitude sucks) which you must prepare to pay the price of mistakenly marrying an unexpected baby mama.

Rather, the womanizing here means that you should test the temperament and senses of ladies. More on this later.

See also: Are Relationships Becoming the Last Hope for Intimacy?

Elsewhere to the ladies; most of the guys you’re seeing aren’t looking for all respectful, and all submissive ladies. They are rather desperate for sex toys. Their demands and pressures can ruin your existence. Few guys seek caring and loving ladies; and within the few, very few handles them properly. But before grabbing one of the very few which I will wish good luck for it; make sure you aren’t doing anything stupid. Don’t spend money on your breasts and butts’ sizes. You’ll end up being a transacting material. They will price tag you and treat you according to your market value. Maybe you aren’t a lady of that type. Hence, in addition to all your respectfulness, submissiveness, calmness, and trustworthiness, you must include a porn-star-like sex life. Or stand the risk of being called dumb and boring.

It doesn’t matter how sexy and elegant you look, without the knowledge of all the current sexual acrobatics; your dating could be self-destructive. So, before you rush for a date think about all these, whether you are ready to induce yourself or not. Whether you’re prepared to bear the consequence or not. Then reflect on your current status, aspirations, and inspirations. Weigh your chances in life. The strength and weaknesses of your personality. Scrutinize your past relationship if any; the realities and dreams of it. Analyze your capabilities, the current situation, and what you can do to be substantially independent. Know the avenues that suit you. If you’re introverted, go for your march, if you are an extrovert, know who marches you. Don’t jump into someone’s life just because you’re ready for a date.

Entertaining a whole lifestyle in addition to your own involves more reflection than petitioning. Friendship chemistry is an important tool; use it well. Try to overcome mixed feelings; it pisses the serious ones off. Study the exceptions you are making, whether reasonable or not; ignoring someone because he/she isn’t from the same faith as yours is different from ignoring someone just because he/she doesn’t wear the current costumes. Focus on important issues, avoid heresy and study your development. You might not be all that good at making people happy. And your company might not be all that interesting. You may check this right away. Know very well that people are attracted to refreshing and creative gestures more than orgasm and libido. Your huge goodies aren’t enough to make him happy. Your one-hour sex cannot keep her faithful to you. Focus on being creative and interesting. Be smart and critical while talking about important issues.

Support him/her in whatever he/she does. Try to contribute to any of the discussions, after initiating critical ones. Don’t just be asking for sex, food, phone etc. showcase your availability in the partnership and leave the rest to fate.

Before you rush for a date, try to meditate on the statement, all men are the same or all women are the same. The same attitude and character yield the same results. Have you done a thorough scrutinization of your character, attitude, and lifestyle? Have you analyzed all the outputs and outbursts whether you deserved the reactions or not? Times have changed, and dating as commonly known isn’t the preparation for marriage. It is a process of marriage. Preparations are means towards the ends of marriage. Dating as a process is the end of friendship. That is why couples must at first, be best friends before taking marriage vows. Preparing for marriage implies that both of you have compromised in all aspects of life and are ready to take the rest of the journey together. Dating does not provide these grounds. Don’t expose yourself too much to it.

But rather be keen on the process, determine the pros and cons. Will he/she be a contributor to your development or the destructor for your life? All the ladies at your age can give you sex and utilities, but not all can make you realize your full potential. All gents at your age can impregnate you, but not all can make you feel important in society. This should be your guiding principle for dating. And that is why you should think before rushing for it.



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *