Before marriage, you are open. After marriage you’re closed. What do I mean by this? Before taking your marriage vows, there are certain things that go on behind the scenes. You aren’t aware, and may not find out till you die. That is what I want us to discuss. Do you know that while you’re single, every male friend of yours likes you, and will naturally despair you when you marry? Some of them seriously fantasize about you, they imagine you being their wife. And others are working so hard to worth for some particular lady, whiles having you in mind. Most of them want to propose but are feeling shy. Notice this, lots of your male friends quickly respond to your plea, anytime you need them. Almost all of them care for you. Getting to know that you’re dating, they still do lots of sacrifices for you to be happy.
When you need someone to buy you a laptop. When you need someone to download movies for you. When you need someone to fix your rice cooker, fan, iron, television. When you need someone to help you fill a form. When you need someone to share happiness with. As if all these aren’t important, you will spend money before getting them done after you’re married. It won’t take much to lure a male friend to send you airtime, or money when you urgently need it. And it won’t take much to persuade a male friend to escort you when going somewhere unsafe. They will constantly be calling to check up on you. Your messages and chats will flood with good nights and good mornings with baby and sweethearts callings. With follow-up questions whether you’ve eaten, bathed, or doing at the moment. All these will come along with series of proposals and many other things.
They are all meant for your singleness, when you marry. All shall pass.
See also: Three Months after The Marriage
Your birthday wishes look like Halloween. When you are sick, the speedy recovery wishes alone heals you. Meanwhile, some of them have become boring to you, you keep ignoring their calls and messages. Before you start to think. I just want to let you know, that they will all back off after you’re married. Don’t be too pompous for receiving such an interesting treatment. That is natural, and that is your time. It will swiftly come to pass without your notice. All that you are enjoying now are for one reason. And that is, you aren’t married. A male friend of yours has enquired you from a close friend of yours; he might be interested in you. But before he gets into you or you getting into him, there will be some sort of friendship. He might be a good person; kind, respectful and calm. That friendship, even though will yield better results, can turn into a nightmare after marriage.
Male friends will continue to adore you, they will keep surprising you. Because you are adorable and beautiful. When you marry, you’ll realize that such a pull of attraction will vanish. During that time, your phone can go the whole day without ringing. This implies that you have better things to do before marriage. The hundreds of male friends you have are all one way or the other, interested in you. Don’t trade your dignity. Don’t take advantage of them. Don’t be too pompous and rigid. Stop behaving as if such time will be forever. Appreciate the gifts you’re receiving from a good heart, not from your price tag. Your price will soon be determined on the face of your husband. The male friends have a lot of plans for you. You don’t know, because you are not ready to explore. Some of them aren’t interested in sleeping with you. They like you because you’re a good and respectful girl. And they will wish to treat you as such.
Never create the impression of level. Tagging yourself to some particular group of guys; and treating the others like your kid brothers. Those guys you think to deserve you might have some temporary situations, so as to those you think don’t deserve you. It will get to a time where none of them will be available to reach. But rather treat them equally; not in terms of body access, but in attitude and character. That cool guy wants to visit you; not to have sex, but rather sit and talk to you just for fun, give him a chance. Even though he has nothing, knowing that he needs a lady’s companionship, why don’t you offer him some? Let your male friends feel the real woman in you. Show them good character, attitude, care, love, and respect. You don’t know what runs through their minds. Because every guy, after meeting a woman for the first time, sees her as to be a sex toy. Of course, such a mindset will initiate the friendship. The subsequent days and it matters will be determined by the lady’s attitude. And that makes the guy rethink different about you.
See also: ARE RELATIONSHIPS BECOMING THE LAST HOPE FOR INTIMACY?
Are you keeping on joking whiles you aren’t married to feel the seriousness after marriage or you are putting everything on a serious scale? The announcement of your wedding alone will piss half of them off. Yes! All men have that kind of jealousy. And those who will stay are those you treated with respect. And will stay as friends because they respected your decision as you being ready to forever live with a chosen partner. Such friends are not kept with beauty and sexy gestures. They are kept with respect and great love. It can be that all of them will back off, that is when your matter gets annoying. Because your price tagged your dignity and services. You never visited them without their lorry fare, you never cooked for them without their money, you never slept with them without them giving money to go to the hospital, buy phones, laptops or dresses. You never called them without their airtime, you never called them to seek for their welfare; it always baby I’m broke in all the time you call. You never had a warm chat with them without them giving you something. And you never showed them any form of love apart from sex.
Men will run out from such liability.
What you can’t see or witness before your marriage is the one who truly loves you. Such fortunes are undetermined. Trust me, it is one of those guys you’re seeing to be useless just because they don’t have money. It might also be the one you think he isn’t serious just because he doesn’t call every day to buy you stuff. What runs through their minds are known only to themselves, and you have to unleash it with the power of your womanhood. We don’t use sex and fun to win the hearts of guys. It is rather substance and attitude. Where your acceptable and unacceptable behaviors have been drawn. In the future, you’ll need a companion, not a sex mate. So, focus on their attitudes more than their substance. Clear their thoughts by making them feel important to your life. Prudently submit yourself to them; willingly visit them, if the room is scattered, arrange for them if they are hungry, cook for them, you can use your money in case you have. Wash their clothes if you can, discuss important issues, share your thoughts, encourage each other. Warmly ask for permission to go, don’t ask for transportation, if he willingly gives, fine. But with much appreciation after collecting it.
Willingly buy something they might need. It can be a shirt or trousers, iron, or rice cooker. If you can afford a fan, buy for him. Maybe he was uncomfortable seeing you uncomfortable in his room. Put your effort into all the male friendships you are in. Trust me, guys value those ladies more than the bed riders. By doing this, you inwardly build your reputation. Your sense of dignity will remain intact, all these attitudes in addition to calmness and respectfulness make you more beautiful and refreshing to guys than you think. When in trouble, they will vehemently come to rescue you and in return, make you feel important. It doesn’t take a lot to do all these. And it isn’t a shame for applying these attitudes towards all your male friends. I am not saying you should behave like a service mama, neither am I posing spending or force inclination. Forcefully bugging into guys’ lives comes with unbearable consequences. But rather treat the few around as best as you can. In so doing, you’ll be keeping precious people around, great people who can be of help to your children in the future. Guys who will celebrate your womanhood, not your sex. Before you marry, get to explore all these hidden scenes. And thank me later.