After reading the works of Homer, the younger Roman living in the streets of ancient Rome could have the wish to contact his fellow younger Athenian living in the streets of Athens to discuss more on Odyssey or maybe to share the stories of the acropolis and the pantheon. Unfortunately for them, there was no phone. The wife of the Roman Legion could have the wish to receive hello after typing hi, on WeChat, just to verify that her husband did not die in the last battle. But unfortunately for the poor Legion’s wife, there was no Social Media. After stepping out from the train, that young London girl could have a wish to immediately continue the flirts she was engaging with her fellow young Vienna guy who was with her on the train. But unfortunately for them, there was no smartphone. Maybe a clear video chat could have saved many depressed wives who died from missing their husbands during wars in the 20th century. Or lots of history could have changed.
The banality of conversations, virtuality of friendships coupled with infectious discussions have weakened the bonds which tightened our unity and harmony before. And it seems all sources of happiness have gotten problems to be dealt with.
Relationships have turned into emotionally-pitched battles between two stressed and depressed folks. Hopes and confidence seem to weary in our day-to-day meetings with people. Too many relationships, too many heartbreaks with too many depressions and anxiety. Have we lost our sense of humor? Or our minds are not prepared to meet the consequence of it? We become too depressed when we are lonely, and become too sophisticated when we are with someone. But we still don’t have the mentality to balance the emotions, making us vulnerable to the luxuries and romanticism whiles we become slaves to Aphrodite. Those we love so much disappoint, and those we trust refuse to honor our trustworthiness. Yet we continue to stake our heart and soul to this same dangerous unredeemable game call relationship.
And the last stage for this weariness seems to be sexual intimacy. Yes! Sex relationship with people we have no relationship with; the game of thrones, couples play, student engage, men and women enjoy it. But that isn’t surprising because all other intimacies and relationships seem not to be working. If it is about sharing thoughts and ideas; no one seems to have time. If it about effective communication; everyone is busy online, on multiple social media platforms. If it about emotional intimacy, the grounds where people share their joy and sorrow; apathy is now a virtue. For that matter, men and women respect only one rule; and that is the rule of sex. Its principles are universal, it has one common language, its satisfaction is fully assured and it comes within a short time.
You might be single and looking for a date; for whatsoever reason, don’t worry, because you aren’t gonna satisfied after meeting him or her. It might be that you aren’t sure about yourself or you are bored to make yourself happy. Maybe you should check these before going for a date. The luxury and the material parts of it are very strong. Our enticement for people making us happy is too much; sometimes we even miss reasons for it.
Maybe you are emotionally disorganized and desperately need someone to put things in order. Or you are unsure about how the opposite sex will appreciate you. What if you met someone with this same dilemma? On top of these quandaries, there might be one or two, or more occasions, where sex between you and someone you aren’t planning to date had to happen. Yes! And how will you explain such circumstances? How will you think of it? How will you help yourself with it? Where will you find answers? Will you get time to ask these questions? Supposing these problems persist and you enter into the relationship; whether marriage or dating, how will you resolve the issue? Will you continue the sexual relationship? Or you will respect yourself?
You are under the deluded impression that everything will settle after marriage. Settlement in marriage isn’t a natural order to the marriage itself. It comes from an already settled partner. Nothing will settle in the marriage if you or your partner or both aren’t settled. There is this emotional, mental, aesthetic, and romantic settlement to be made. So do your partner. We are torn between sexual intimacy and luxurious affections. Thus, we know the satisfactions we want, but we don’t know how or when to be satisfied. We know what to feel and always want to be happy. But we are unsure of what makes us happy and the one who has it. So, we end up dating multiple partners at the same time or jumping into people’s lives like we are lifeless. The ends of it are to choose a sexual intimate friend aside from your partner. And that is the beginning of it.
True affection is rare today, what we have been experiencing is more on sexual mechanisms and lustful gestures. If you are naïve to this, then you are too late to join. Now that sex has become a commodity, the dignity of it can never guarantee you a healthy relationship. Be careful, because you might unconsciously be trading your assets and resources. And don’t be too sure about the upcoming marriage because nothing will change. Things can even get worse because people don’t value submission, respect, and commitment in marriage anymore. Marriage now has very different reasons which have nothing to do with emotional security and companionship. But many are accidentally falling into it. Just stop giving too much credit to it.
Relationships, in any form, cannot answer all personal feelings; you have to rather find feelings for them. The feeling of distrust, suspicion, depressions, disappointment, heartbreak, and so on awaits. Don’t pretend as if you are prepared for it. The abilities to conquer all these challenges are independent of the values, that come from the relationship. Hence, you’ll need personal strength and attitudes of certain principles from your own intuition which comes as a result of how you perceive and understand human relations. Maybe you can give it a try. Don’t be too complacent in your qualities and talents and don’t be too confident in your looks and personality. Relationships carry the same rules which are applied in different territories.
In today’s relationships, luxuries have replaced concepts. People don’t have time for your capabilities and perceptions to determine whether his or hers could match with yours or not. They just need a run-away flaunting of money, cars, houses, and reputable jobs. Your emergence and life processes are not of much concern. Even the few who have time will not wait any longer.
When a woman says real man, she doesn’t mean a man of substance with dignity, hardworking and responsible. She means a man who can last for hours of sex. Men don’t care about your respectfulness, humbleness, commitment, and submissions. What they are looking for is to keep your waist softened; bending it on different positions and angles, touching and kissing all kinds of places. Yes! Things have changed. And cheating in relationships has come a long way to be accepted as a guiding principle. You’ll need extreme self-control and a very strong mentality to cope with all these insanities. Don’t be too rigid, because the temptations attached to it are very strong. There are thousands of unmarried and single ladies out there; they are ever ready to rig your marriage. Hundreds of unmarried men out there are ever ready to exploit your matrimonial assets. Just prepare.
What else then is left for intimacy?